Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Aquaman #6 (April, 2012)

Four years ago, Mera trained with undersea soldiers to prepare her to assassinate the King of Atlantis. "AQUAMAN will DIE." Yes, that statement really ended in a period, despite the wildly exclamatory lettering.

Today, in Amnesty Bay, Mera was at Rudy's Groceries looking for dogfood. "I was hoping someone could help me. I didn't realize there would be this many choices." Manager Randy Rovner (seriously) took a break from sexually harassing an employee to inappropriately touch Mera. "Aquawoman" being in a skintight bodysuit and this being the same DCnÜ that brought us Sex Doll Starfire, Skeevy Cruiser thought he was going to get some right there in the middle of the pet food aisle, but instead got his arm broken for two panels (all the better to compound fracture, I suppose.)

The store cop tries to arrest Mera, possibly because he often joined Randy and Zed in a basement torture dungeon, as his pedo mustache complemented Randy's pauncy stubbleface perfectly. Mera took control of the bottled water on the shelves and hosed him down. Police arrived, and after overhearing a bulletin about an endangered daughter, Mera surrender to the authorities.

Being a small town, the same police rode over to Randy Slayter's house. Slayter (super seriously, with the "y" and everything) had slain his wife (see what they did there) and now had his teenage daughter at gunpoint. Mera broke through her handcuffs, busted out of the back of the police car, and sauntered up. Slayter (I can't get over how on the nose that is) called Mera a "fish out of water" (that hurt to type) so she pointed out "The absence of water is not my weakness. It's all of yours." She took control of the water in Slayter's body, and released it into the air, dehydrating him until surrender was his only option. Daughter Rachael begged for his life, because after all, "He's still my dad." The police tried to take Mera back in, but she just blew them off and leapt away like a She-Hulk.

Brooding near the lighthouse, Mera recalled telling her father Aquaman was in truth a noble man who had no idea her people's colony existed. Father declared, "You're a traitor. Traitors must die. And so must Aquaman." If she stood with Aquaman, she would end up as alone as the Sea King himself.

The store clerk that Raunchy Rambler had been harassing earlier had been defending Mera all along, and showed up at the lighthouse with a bag full of dog food and toys. "My name's Jennifer. I put my number in there. I'm happy to meet you here whenever you want... I guess I just want you to know that... we're not all bad."

Mera fed the dog, then Aquaman showed up. He wanted Mera to come with him to Dr. Stephen Shin's house to find out who sank Atlantis...

"Deserted!" was by Geoff Johns, breakdowns by Ivan Reis, with finished art by Joe Prado.

New 52's Day

No comments: