Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Justice League of America #247 (2/86)

Martian Manhunter: Took his charges to their new headquarters, being the abandoned mountain headquarters of the original Justice League of America, and formerly the Injustice Gang (as Zatanna noted for a Martian who skipped the 70’s.) “For one of them, this is a graveyard of silent ghosts and buried memories.” The place was mighty dusty from disuse, but the usually reliable J’Onn J’Onzz had to assume his new duties as John Jones, P.I. instead.

Zatanna: Lit the original Justice League of America headquarters with her magic, then bailed on clean-up to investigate her roommate’s disappearance. Found that mound of dust that used to be her. Time to “muucav,” or does she have another excuse up her considerable sleeve?

Steel: Flipped a rrreally big lightswitch. Bailed on cleaning to wear 80’s too shorts and get propositioned at his gym job by a movie producer. With glasses, and a moustache, who likes gladiator movies, and has his arm across Hank’s shoulder. Go-go Gadget Prostate?

Vibe: Continued to defame Latin Americans by bowing out of cleaning to not find an apartment which he would not pay for with the job he doesn’t have. Almost killed a gym rat for ridiculing Paco’s wardrobe, which of course could have happened to anyone.

Sue Dibney: Westchester?

Elongated Man: The only super-hero shown actually cleaning up. Know your role, Ralph!

Vixen: Plotted to uncover the mystery that is Gypsy. Played with a possum. Animal senses detected a potentially malevolent something that later attacked her with black fire type stuff. Stuck with cleaning crew, but never actually shown cleaning, because DC’s race relations hole was deep enough already.

Gypsy: Really dug the dank old headquarters, which Vibe couldn’t stop belittling, so she called his a “pheasant.” Even Vibe knew she meant “peasant,” so she made him see an illusion of hell before he made her look any worse. Adopted rodents she found nesting in the once abandoned headquarters. Defeated a gelatinous, tentacled baby monster that had also taken up residence by being harsh with it.

Dale Gunn: Written out. Lucky.

Interlude: On the prison planet of Takron-Galtos, home of the galaxy’s most dangerous arch-criminals, a fuschia fiend in a blue hoodie murdered a guard. This dastardly desperado then stole a rifle, with which he gunned down two more alien guardsmen with one blast. He jacked a ship, and used his telepathy, limited as it was by prison-drugs, to learn the pattern of the laser defense to escape. “My followers wait to greet me on Kalanor. I shall not disappoint them.”

The Creators: You know that whole “balance between the mundane and the fantastic” thing? Conway’s mundane just cracked the table and the fantastic is wrapped around the scale’s arm like a playground swing after Saturday night. Luke McDonnell sells it to the best of his ability.

Most Embarrassing Vibe Quote of the Issue: So many to choose from this issue, but I’m going with "Any breakin’ I do is gonna be on a dance floor.

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